Eat My Sports: Draft busts

It is way too early to speculate who came out a winner in this weekend’s NFL Draft in New York. If the draft has shown anything over the years, it is that the draft is an inaccurate science in which the true results are not shown til months, possibly years later.

With that in mind, we’ve decided to go over the top 5 draft busts of all-time in the NFL, and don’t worry Michael Irvin, this is a work-based bust, not drug bust.

5. Heath Shuler
We’ll just say that Marion Barry had a more succesful tenure in D.C. than Shuler did.

4. Lawrence Phillips
Coming out of Nebraska, Phillips was one of the best pure talents coming into the NFL. It never gelled together as Phillips had three very short and unsuccesful stints in St. Louis, Miami and San Francisco. Basically a Phillips tenure in your town had the lifetime of a Tommy Lee pool party. In 35 career games, Phillips rushed for an amazing 1,453 yards and 14 touchdowns. To really understand the depth of this, in an “off year” San Diego superstar LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for 1,474 yeards and 16 touchdowns in only 16 games.

3. Any Detroit Lions’ pick from this decade
Matt Millen is to Detroit football what Isaiah Thomas was to the New York Knicks. Millen’s dubious list of all-time great draft blunders include the following: Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, Kevin Jones and the verdict is out still on Calvin Johnson. To put this in perspective, these were players chosen after Lions’ draft choices: Dallas Clark, Ty Warren, Willis McGahee, Larry Johnson, Roy Williams, Dwight Freeney, Ben Roethlisberger, Steven Jackson, Heath Miller and Shawne Merriman.

2. Ryan Leaf
Leaf was the modern sports version of The Sex Pistols. All the tools were there succesful debut in college, but then … oh bullocks. He was such a gigantic headcase that his career ended up dead after less than three years.  I’m sure there is a dead hooker or heroin joke here, I’m just missing it. The debate going into the 1998 draft was whether Leaf or Peyton Manning would end up being the better long-term pro. The results: Manning: 41,626 passing yards, 306 touchdowns and a Super Bowl ring. Leaf: 3,666 passing yards, 14 touchdowns, 36 interceptions, one memorable YouTube video screaming at a reporter, and out of the league after four years. I think the Colts made the right decision.

1. Mike VIck
Granted, there have been worse cases of just shear ineptitude by a player. But has one person single-handidly destroyed the very foundation of a franchise more than Vick? Vick has set the Falcons future back worse than Jimmy Fallon is going to set back The Late Show. Once considered the future of the quarterback position, Vick became the reality of superstars who think they are untouchable. We think that there is a possible Welcome to the Dog House movie in the makings, but Vick couldn’t be reached for comment.

Top five things that annoy me in sports this week:
5. Roger Clemens
For all the years I spent mad at the guy for tanking it his final years in Boston, then dangling a retirement comeback, I am laughing histerically. From roids to flings with 15-year old country singers, Roger, eat another donut and get what you deserve.

4. Dallas Mavericks
I have never seen anyone play more uninspired basketball than Jason Kidd this year. He’s making the Washington Wizards look like the Globetrotters.

3. Pat Riley
At least you have the stones to step down after blowing up a team that was basically handed a NBA title.

2. Madden 08
I don’t know if any of you out there play games online, but Madden has me to the brink of breaking nearly everything in my apartment. OF COURSE A DEAD ON PASS TO HINES WARD WILL HIT HIM IN THE *(@#^^!)^$*&)!^ HELMET, BOUNCING RIGHT TO A DEFENDER 20 YARDS AWAY AND HAVE HIM RETURN IT FOR THE GAME-WINNING SCORE. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

1. Boston Celtics
Seriously? A 2-2 series? Play like a champion, not like someone the Atlanta freaking Hawks can beat.