As you may have heard, Bryan Schools leading a protest against his hometown’s new AA baseball team, the Richmond Flying Squirrels. He’s at their field The Diamond (this play oozes originality) saying he doesn’t want a mascot named Nutzy. Last we heard he climbed one of the light posts armed with a bottle of whiskey and is refusing to come down.
So until next week, I, Bryan McBournie, will be filling in, which makes sense, since a power outage yesterday kept me from posting my own weekly column. I’m here with all the regular sports expertise I am known for (none). Since there’s really only one thing that matters right now in the sports world: March Madness.
I’d like to be clear on this point: I know nothing about college basketball. I don’t much care about basketball as a sport, and the whole March Madness thing had been lost on me–until this year. Due to some peer pressure, I made a bracket for my office pool. Now, I’m sitting in 13th place out of 25, and have the highest potential points left. How did I do it?
Let me tell you, you don’t just get to be at my level by pure coincidence. It takes a little fortitude and a little brain power to make it all work out. I was 29 for 48 as of this afternoon, that’s 60%. I’m doing slightly better than a coin toss!
- Pick the names you know over the ones you don’t. Who the hell is “Brigham Young,” anyway? I can point to Kentucky, Florida, Michigan (State), and West Virginia, so why not go with those. Sure, my girlfriend loves Maryland, but do I think they’ll make it? I have no idea, but I’ll say no. Turns out that one worked out for me.
- Pick by colors. I’m not talking about which team has the most non-white guys, because that means no one would ever pick Duke, and they will at least make the Sweet 16 before choking like they do so well. Do you like yellow? Um, there are one or two school bus-looking teams out there, but mostly you’re SOL. Go with green or blue, that ought to help your chances a bit.
- Guess. I know this may sound like a strange notion, but go with your gut instinct sometimes. Really, it’s just your brain telling you want you want to hear. And if you want that team to win, why not pick them? You really didn’t feel like rooting against them in the first place, did you?
So there you have it. Follow these simple rules, and you too can do slightly better than picking the bottom team on each game.