Eat My Sports: Let’s not go out like Mace Windu

In an interview to hype Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith, Samuel L. Jackson said in regards to his character, Mace Windu, that “he doesn’t go out like a b****” (please trust me on this, as my Google-fu is quite weak at the moment and I cannot find said interview; however, this one line was burned into my brain). Obviously, Sammy L was a little off in his revelation, because most assuredly, Mace Windu went out not just a window, but like a b****.

So, how does this relate to sports? Oh, come on. Teams lose games in the worst ways possible. Players leave in the most egregious ways possible. The worst thing is that more often than not, said people have the most potential ever! They’re rife with talent, but it gets squandered in a single moment, usually in an inexplicable manner. It’s time to celebrate the Mace Windu Awards.

Warning: the language is gonna get strong.

The most obvious example of a Mace Windu Award should go to the Los Angeles Lakers. The team has won 17 total championships in its history, 5 of which were earned in the past 11 years. The team has arguably one of the three greatest coaches of all time helming it (as of writing). I don’t particularly care for him, but I will respectfully say that Kobe Bryant is one of the top 5 players of all time in NBA history, maybe top 3. And yet, the team gets swept by the Dallas Mavericks. One of the many teams that Jason Kidd, he of a billion years and slightly less than a billion hits on a spouse (allegedly), helped build. SWEPT. Not only did the team lose, they self-destructed in front of the world. Los Angeles Lakers, you went out like a bitch.

For those that have been following, there are rumors that the Redskins might be the newest home for Vince Young. This is wonderful for him. Washington DC is where quarterbacks go when they don’t want to look like players who enjoy winning. It’s an elephant graveyard for quarterbacks, except there’s less tusks lying around but at least 68% more bullshit being excreted. Vince Young had a great career ahead of him, but seemingly let his ego get the better of him. That an alcoholic racist veteran quarterback Kerry Collins got the better of him too probably wasn’t great either. But his exit? Being released by your team with two games left in the season after throwing a temper tantrum following a loss isn’t the most dignified of exits. Simply put, Vince Young, you went out like a bitch. Hope it doesn’t happen again with the Shanaclan.

This past weekend, the long awaited Sugar Shane Mosley/Manny Pacquiao fight finally happened. And yet, it was easily one of the most boring events in the past 20 years. Pacquiao easily won by unanimous decision, but that was helped out a ton by Mosley dancing around the ring and putting up his dukes … in the defensive position. For the entire match follwoing being knocked down in the third round. After it all, Mosley said that he was trying not to give up too much for the fight. Shane, you went out like a bitch in that match. There’s no other way to put it.

Just to show that I’m fair, I’d like to declare a past due Mace Windu Award. I’m a Tennessee Titans fan. I find them to be incredibly frustrating, but I proudly wear my colors, no matter how bad the loss is; however, one loss in particular was horrible. That loss was to the Baltimore Ravens in the playoffs. In 2008, my Tennessee Titans went out like bitches. Hopefully our luck changes for the upcoming season with our most recent draft picks. Go Jake Locker and Akeem Ayers!

Currently, Samuel L. Jackson will be showing up in the thriller Meeting Evil. One can only hope that he doesn’t win a Mace Windu award for his character.