In an effort to try and keep the sporting world active in my life, I actually paid attention to this weekend’s festivities in New Orleans for the NBA’s All-Star Game. I saw Dwight Howard visibly put basketball back on the map with one dunk. I watched as Lebron James continued his ascent into being not only the next, but better than Michael Jordan. I watched all of this and suddenly got very, very depressed. Where were my New York Knicks?
Aside from Nate Robinson winning the Slam Dunk Competition a few years back, I am in a free fall as a fan. I have nothing to look forward to. The NBA season starts, I have no hope, we get Larry Brown, and I have no hope because Isaiah Thomas has ruined my beloved franchise beyond a decade-long repair.
I envy other fans, like Orlando Magic fans, who are watching Howard emerge as the dominant center in the game. I envy Lakers fans that are watching Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol team up for a very dangerous duo. Hell, the Miami Heat even look entertaining now with Shaun Marion in the lineup.
I thought about all this and then wondered: when is it OK to change your allegiance to a team?
The 10-year itch
You can switch squads after you have watched your franchise get progressively worse over a period of 10 straight years. I am currently in year eight of the Knicks’ fall into basketball obscurity. Yes, they made the playoffs a few years back, but the East sucks, so it is not a good barometer of the Knicks’ talent. Once your team has made you physically ill for 10 years, it’s time to part. So, Pittsburgh Pirates fans, Miami Dolphins fans and Los Angeles Clippers fans, you are absolved.
This is much like a divorce. There is division of assets (like my Latrell Spreewell jersey making its way into my garbage can), friends consoling you, if you have kids that are fans, you need to tell them that it’s just not working out. All in all, it is a very ugly and expensive (purchasing of new items such as hats, jerseys and sweatshirts) departure.
It’s a personnel problem
Washington Redskins fans cannot complain about this. For as flawed as he is, Daniel Snyder has at least tried to put together a Super Bowl champion team. I have had to endure trades for past-prime players like Stephon Marbury, Steve Francis, Penny Hardaway and Jalen Rose. All selfish players, all locker room problems, all leading to 20 plus point losses on a nightly basis. When your team over a period of years does NOTHING to improve the quality of your team, it’s time to call it quits.
I mean, it’s kind of like people that let themselves go after getting comfortable in a relationship (I’m looking directly at you Britney Federline). At some point the relationship has to stop, you need somebody that wants to keep being good for you. This is why the Oakland Raiders are in year six of their 10-year itch theory. Randy Moss was not a good acquisition, LaMont Jordan, you can even go back as far as Larry Brown after the 1996 Super Bowl.
If your team is not actively trying to build a better franchise, it’s time to consider other options.
Player hating
Don’t hate the player, hate the game. The entire state of Minnesota is allowed to support any New England franchise. The Kevin Garnett trade has cemented the Timberwolves spot in the cellar for a good five to 10 years, he was the face of that team. Any person who ever pulled for Minnesota is by proxy allowed to change over to the Boston Celtics.
David Ortiz was pulled away from an emerging Twins squad, and as soon as he had “Red Sox” written across his chest, the man could hit anything thrown at him out of any ballpark. Moss, with a detour in Oakland, once again became the league’s best (regular season) receiver. Due to Oakland’s inability to construct anything that looks like a football team, those who changed to the Raiders are also allowed to switch over to the Patriots due to clemency granted in it’s a personnel problem.
The truth of it is, all of us need a reason to watch. And when there isn’t a reason for you to even think about turning the television on, it’s time to move on.
Top five things that annoy me in sports this week:
5. New York Knicks
4. New York Knicks
3. New York Knicks
2. New York Knicks
1. New York Knicks
Okay, so I can’t bitch about the Redskins, but what about the Baltimore Orioles? I mean, I could probably switch allegiance to the Washington Nationals without a hassle, but what’s the point?
Has the Orioles ownership ruined the team long enough to switch to a trophy team like Boston? Or are they out of my league, and should I settle for a modestly pretty team like the Marlins?
As a Baltimore Orioles fan, you are absolved of your allegiance for the following reasons:
1)The last time your team even made it to the playoffs Third Eye Blind, Matchbox 20 and Smash Mout were the latest new rage.
2)You’ve let every good pitching prospect leave without a fight. Even going so far as to let Mike Mussina go to a division rival like the Yankees.
3)The only free agent signees you’ve gotten have been declining roiders such as Miguel Tejada and Rafal Palmeiro.
You’ve put up with this joke of a franchise long enough. The Nationals are at least trying to build a contender. The Marlins once every couple of years buy a World Series title. You’re more than welcome to the Red Sox Nation, it’s becoming quite fashionable these days, but if you dedicate a false allegiance we will ban you to the Reds.