To put it lightly this year, I’m disappointed in the Super Bowl. From CBS’ production, to the lackluster commercials, to the downright overall feel from kickoff that this game was just not special. It sucked, and you know it.
Look, I’m happy as hell for the city of New Orleans. They deserved this. After all of the crap they have been through since Katrina, this is a feel good moment that will last a very long time. But I’m not paid to talk cities, I’m paid to talk football and there are several reasons that this game will go down as one of the worst Super Bowls of all time.
We all wanted the Saints, but not like this
With all due respect to everyone else, it’s impossible to root against Peyton Manning. The guy handles himself with class, plays the game right, and has a forehead you can see your entire reflection in. All that being said, everyone knew what was at stake for Manning last night. He wins that game, he eclipses Tom Brady for greatest quarterback of our generation; his name goes up there with Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw and everyone else in the pantheon of legendary quarterbacks. Now we’re left wondering if Manning is just another great regular season guy who is average–at best–in the postseason? Was it merely a fluke that he lucked into a pedestrian–at best–Bears team with Rex Grossman as his only competition? One TAINT later and the debate is still there for Manning; and with his mid-30s fast approaching, this may have been his last chance to close the discussion.
Thanks, ad men
This year’s commercial lot was awful, and that’s putting it lightly. There were honestly about only five times I laughed out loud. SG gives props to Doritos, Bud Light and whoever came up with the Brett Favre and Megan Fox commercials. To the rest of you: eat it.
Was it a lack of creativity? Interest? Crack at the meeting rooms? We don’t know. But what we do know is that this year’s lot was more defined by what wasn’t there than what was. Thanks Pepsi, Coor’s Light and Miller Lite for even submitting one commercial. I know I would rather watch Tim Tebow and his mom too.
James Harrison’s 100-yard TAINT, Santonio Holmes’ game-winning catch, David Tyree’s “The Catch,” John Elway’s helicopter dive, Mike Jones’ stop of Kevin Dyson at the half yard line, Janet Jackson’s nipple: all these were defining moments of Super Bowls past. What was the defining moment of Super Bowl XLIV? There wasn’t one, period.
The first Super Bowl I can say I remember watching from start to finish was Super Bowl XXX, so that gives me roughly 15 years of analyzing games from a fan’s perspective. And for the most part, especially since 2001, we’ve been treated to some fantastic games, but more importantly, gigantic moments on football’s biggest stage. This year’s game was about as exciting as watching a Jonas Brothers’ jam session. The only thing I will take from this game was the comedy of seeing Manning look like he was constipated the entire time, and very angry about it.
Who is playing?
Ladies and gentlemen, just announced for Super Bowl XLV: Ludwig von Beethoven!
These very “safe” acts so we don’t see another boob on live television is just getting plain ridiculous. I love The Who, I think what they’ve sparked creatively is fantastic, and I would have loved to see them in concert, 40 years ago.
Get some relevancy back. Now, I’m not saying go out and get the cast of High School Musical, but you owe us more than giving us a 20-minute bathroom break.
Most Valuable story
The MVP award has become a joke. In past year’s the award has been given out to the completely wrong players, here’s a list of past winners, and the actual MVP in parentheses.
- XLIV: Drew Brees (Pierre Thomas)
- XLIII: Santonio Holmes (Ben Roethlisberger)
- XLII: Eli Manning (David Tyree/Michael Strahan)
- XLI: Peyton Manning (Reggie Wayne)
- XL: Hines Ward (Hines Ward)
One in five = not cutting it. Start going for the best player in the game, not who looks best going to Disney World.
Well, now that I’m done ranting, here’s the tally if you actually followed the rules we jokingly set forth last week:
- Manning referred to as “Peyton” – One drink
- Manning family mentioned – One drink
- Commercial with a Manning – Two drinks
- Hurricane Katrina is mentioned – One drink
- The name Pierre is said – Five drinks
- Manning calls an audible – Four drinks
- Any beer commercial – Nine drinks
- Turnovers – One shot
- Argument over Manning/Brees foreheads – One chug
- The Who plays “Baba O’Reilly” – One shot
- A TAINT is thrown – One shot
- Tim Tebow’s commercial – One shot
- Non-touchdown play of 25+ – Two shots
- A team wins – One shot
We hope you’re alive if you were dumb enough to actually try this. But anyways, thanks for a wonderful football season, mainly for the Redskins, who gave me so much to write about. Join us next week as we give you the final results of the SeriouslyLions and my season in review.