For those of you with First World problems, you may hve watched a little game known as the Super Bowl this past Sunday. And putting my Pittsburgh bias aside (kind of) and looking at the game objectively (I still think Ray Lewis should be in jail) the game from top to bottom just, plain, sucked. A lot.
I mean really sucked.
Everyone knows by now that the Super Bowl isn’t a game, it’s a week long event that the government should just go ahead and grant us an additional holiday for. But when you’re evaluating the event as a whole, you need to factor in pre-game coverage, commercials, actual game and halftime show.
This one was a whopping 0-4 on all fronts. First off, did you know that Jim and John Harbaugh are brothers? ESPN wouldn’t let us forget it, and in case you didn’t know Lewis is religous, and doesn’t want to talk about the murder he was involved in, or PEDs. Every year the talk about Super Bowl commercials gets amped up, and by and large the game hasn’t spawned multiple memorable commercials in about five years.
The halftime show was an abomination. Beyonce’s performance made the Black Eyed Peas show look like The Beatles’ rooftop show. Forget the fact that she sang for not even half of the show, she focused most of her “dancing” on angril humping the air. Who’s pumped up for some football now? Look NFL, we want over the top power rock or rap, save Beyonce and Madonna for the ladies’ book club we want KISS, Eminem, Jay-Z, Green Day or LMFAO.
Now as for the game, I don’t need to tell you that any Super Bowl MVP award that goes to a guy with a unibrow, stems from a terrible game. It took two hours and a 49ers conspiracy blackout just for the gameto get watchable, and listening to Phil Simms color commentating is about as exciting as watching Ellen. The game finished with a bang, but the damage was already done, and those god awful commercials weren’t coming to any rescue.
So, in the end, thanks Flacco, Beyonce and ad departments across corporate America, you ruined our favorite holiday.