Eat My Sports: The state of the Skins

I’m pretty sure that the bar I work at has every Redskins patron secretly cursing me under their breath. You see, seven weeks ago the Redskins were a healthy 6-2. Clinton Portis was in early talks for the MVP, Jason Campbell was looking every bit the first round pick he was four years ago, the defense was playing great, they were ahead of Dallas, a postseason bid was a lock! Then came the Campbell jersey.

I’m a man of the people. Everyone knows the Steelers are my team, but I work for the Redskins fans. To protect the names of the innocent, Couple X asked me if I would wear a Redskins jersey while I bar tend during Monday Night Football. Never to be one to turn down a nice offer, I accepted. Then the Monday night of the Steelers-Redskins match-up in Maryland came with a brand new Jason Campbell jersey for me to wear. That my friends was the beginning of the rise of the Steelers and the fall of the Skins. Since that fateful match-up, the Steelers have risen to the top of the AFC by going 5-1 while the Skins have fallen from the ranks of the mighty with a 1-5 record.

Most reasonable people blame me for tainting the sacred nature of a Redskins QB jersey. You know, the same franchise that has brought us Heath Shuler, Gus Frerotte, post-apocalyptic Brad Johnson, Mark Rypien, Mark Brunell, Jeff George, Shane Matthews, Danny Wuerffel and Patrick Ramsey since the 1991 campaign.

But for those of you who believe that I am not what is wrong with your Washington, D.C./Landover, Marlyand/Wherever the hell they are brethren, here’s a look at what’s really wrong with the Skins.

Offensive Line
Now, a line that does not feature a single player under the age of 31 couldn’t possibly be the source of Washington not being able to protect the quarterback, right? Age and guys with a history of injuries also couldn’t be the reason that Portis is running for his life and becoming a victim of the injury bug three years shy of when a running back starts to decline. If Jim Zorn sticks around, drafting for an O-line should be the first priority come April.

Quarterback
I’ll just go ahead and say it: Washington is starting to become much like Chicago, where if you’re a quarterback, you’re screwed. Campbell has not continued his development and has actually regressed as the season has continued. To put it nicely, Campbell has about as much a chance in Washington as The Killers’ latest album does of receiving more than one listen on my iPod.

Coaching
Jim Zorn is not that bad of a coach. He’s obviously a players’ coach, and that’s the problem. To have a successful tenure in the NFL with a headset on, you need to be a hardass. Until someone is brought in with the toughness of a Jimmy Johnson, Bill Cowher or Bill Parcells, this flimsy world that has included Norvell Turner is going to continue to fester in mediocrity.

Ownership
It all goes downhill right? It starts at the top. Daniel Snyder is great at signing checks, horrible at personnel decisions. So, unfortunately for Washington, until Snyder decides to give up ownership of the team, terrible moves will continue to haunt them for a very long time. It’s sad to see the early signs of the Skins becoming the NFC version of the Raiders, but it’s getting a little hard to ignore how much is wrong with this team.

But hey, look at it this way. The Redskins are at least polite enough to give their fans the notice that they can go ahead and plan their vacations for January very early!

Top five games you can bet one next week:
5. Carolina Panthers over New York Giants
I think that the Giants are fine without Plaxico Burress, but without Burress and Brandon Jacobs this is a .500 team at best. Without a healthy running game, it could be a very early end to the Giants in January. Ah the parity of the NFL, exactly a year ago was when the Giants were pulling together. Panthers 24-13.
4. New England Patriots over Arizona Cardinals
West Coast teams have not done well on East Coast games, so this one is kind of easy. Couple it with the fact that Arizona has this “we’re just happy to be here” mindset, and you can see why New England is gonna blow this team off the field. Patriots by 17.
3. New Orleans Saints over Detroit Lions
Folks, we are two games away from witnessing history, and if the Lions have any respect for the game, they know it, too. Saints 28 Lions 13.
2. San Diego Chargers over Tampa Bay Bucs
The Chargers are pulling off one of the most improbable chances for a division championship with a paltry 6-8 record heading into Week 16. I’m going against the grain on the whole coast theory and banking on a San Diego-Denver rematch for all the marbles, or at least the AFC West marbles. Chargers by four.
1. Miami Dolphins over Kansas City Chiefs
Who would’ve thought the AFC East would come down to Miami and the Jets if both teams win this weekend? Dolphins by 6.
The week: 4-1
The season: 43-27

SeriouslyPowerRankings
5. Indianapolis Colts (10-4)
Good job getting through that Detroit buzzsaw.
4. Carolina Panthers (11-3)
You’re gonna see some teams rise and fall within the next week if Carolina takes care of business like they did against Denver.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-3)
Another gutcheck win. Some say PIttsburgh got lucky, but as I’ve been saying all year long, better teams win in the fourth quarter. Find me another squad that can drive 92.5 yards on Baltimore’s defense in under two minutes.
2. New York Giants (11-3)
The G-Men minus Burress and Jacobs are not a better team than the Steelers right now, but they have the same record and beat them in an early season win. So, for right now the Giants remain a very unconvincing number two.
1. Tennessee Titans (12-2)
You cannot dispute the best record in the league. But a 2-2 record after an 10-0 start has trouble brewing down south. And if the Titans have home-field advantage ripped from them next week, look for the doubt to start creeping into that locker room.