Eat My Sports: XX years of Madden, thanks GB

Boom. Enough said already, right? Today at 12:01 AM, the 20th edition of the Madden franchise hit stores with a resounding … boom. For 20 years John Madden has taken his game from an eight-bit blur of a figure carrying what looks like the equivalent of dog crap, and morphed it into the definitive gaming franchise ever made. From the five-year-old that you routinely beat the ever-loving Tinactin out of online, to the closet Chicago Bears fan that doubles as a computer analyst, Madden’s all-consuming (literally, see: Thanksgiving in Dallas) approach to football has grabbed everyone by the seams and made them pay attention … and $60 for a freaking video game.

But this year’s edition did not come without some controversy. Brett “John Madden wants to marry me” Favre was deemed the cover boy of the 2009 edition. Favre, recently retired, and the apple of Madden’s eye, was the easy pick to grace homes everywhere. The golden Packer was going to be honored in the most prestigious way. Then the irony kicked in.

This has been a story that has not received much coverage. For those of you who don’t pay attention to … anything, the Brett Favre circus has been traded to where all garbage stories go, New Jersey. So if you’re not following closely, Brett Favre is now a New York (Jersey) Jet. (Side note: just for the fact that they already have a Brett Favre shot glass, there needs to be a Brett Favre drinking game, we’re open to suggestions.) Cheeseheads cried, 350-lb. New York construction workers rejoiced, and the rest of the country just died a little inside from having to listen to the daily drivel of Brett Favre stories that included him getting off of a plane.

So what is EA Sports’ answer to the fiasco of having possibly the last line of pure football deity change helmet decals a week before your anticipated release? Live roster updates and a downloadable slip for the case that has Mr. There’s Something About Mary in a New York Jet jersey making his best “I’m not going to let them see me cry because I didn’t get to go to Minnesota” face.

Why do I care about all of this? Because this was a moment that was reserved for honoring the franchise that has helped make football more popular (popularer?) than it has ever been in this country, and Brett Favre and the Packers had to go in and make it all about them, including the game. So I’m going to go and pay my $60 for a game that has the player in the wrong jersey on it. I’m going to download the Favre update. Why? Because at this point, I’m just too exhausted not to.

Top five things that annoy me in sports this week:
5. Green Bay Packers
4. Brett Favre
3. Green Bay Packers
2. Brett Favre
1. Green Bay Packers/Brett Favre