Readers, if you’re anything like us, you’re an expert on all affairs, foreign and domestic. But not everyone has the time or inclination to study the world, learning the fine nuances that shape our own backyards.
It’s not enough to know that the flap of a butterfly’s wing gives birth to a huricane on the other side of the globe; you also have to use that knowledge to kill butterflies to end huricanes.
This is why we’re bringing you this explanation for the current brough-ha-ha in Georgia: the Russians want to hide the true identity of Bigfoot!
Yes, a pair of hunters have discovered a hidden enclave of Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) northern Georgia, presumably along the border it shares with Russia. The Russians have invaded to prevent these hunters from revealing the identities of these beasts later today.
The hunters, Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer (don’t bother trying to pronounce these bizarre Slavic names), claim to have DNA and photographic evidence, but will not reveal the monkey-men’s whereabouts because it’s an utter war zone now.
This just in: Apparently we’ve already done the “confusing the two Georgias” bit already. We, here at SeriouslyGuys, apologize and will brutalize our writers for this oversight.
I read the Big Foot article today and had the same thought. I find it somewhat disturbing that you and I shared a similar though process after reading the same news articles. :)