The Guys were caught unawares with the rest of the nation when, in 1964, America was invaded by the British for the first time since 1816. Unlike the Fifth Columnists shrieking at The Ed Sullivan Show a few nights later, we were swept with another form of Beatlemania: sheer dread and war fever.
British invaders greeted as ‘heroes’
Posted on January 8, 1815
Filed under War on England ’64 | Leave a Comment
A elite unit of four British commandos, dubbed The Beatles, has infiltrated American soil. Using a noise weapon, codenamed “rock and roll,” they have unleashed a debilitating disease: Beatlemania.
Beatlemania is transmitted aurally and visually. Its most susceptible victims are adolescent teenagers and the elderly. Its symptoms include pandemonium, hysteria, body tremors in the guise of dancing and looser sexual morals. Later stages of the illness include mental deterioration, typified by the belief that “anything from England must be better.”
It is this tlog’s [television log’s] earnest belief that The Beatles are targetting our nubile teenage girls in order to breed the American out of our population. This has been a tactic in almost all British invasions since their ancient conquests of Ireland and Scotland.
Do not permit The Beatles’ weaponry into your home. Keep your television tuned to the SeriouslyGuys unmoderated television band, UHF 27 and 1/2. Stay strong, but more importantly, stay American!