On Sunday, January 8, 1815, SeriouslyGuys received news of General Andrew Jackson’s victory in the Battle of New Orleans. Herein is the original post, obviously transcripted from the original pressplate.
What Stalemate? We won.
Posted on January 8, 1815
Filed under War on England ’12 | Leave a Comment
Looking closely, one can see our Boys powdering Alligators to fire additional Ordinance at the Limeys.
This just in: General Andrew Jackson has just repulsed the last remaining British Force at New Orleans, Louisiana. The British apparently had a Hard Time of it, as only eight Americans were killed compared to almost 2,000 dead English.
This News comes some two weeks after the Treaty of Ghent, which unofficially declared the War of 1812 as a Draw. After this Victory, though, it is obvious that we have won the War.
President James Madison was unavailable for Comment as our Reporters combed the Remains of Washington D.C. for his whereabouts. Also, all of our Letters to Major-General Isaac Brock at his new Canadian Headquarters remain unanswered.*
*UPDATE: We received a Letter from Canada, but we cannot read it because it is written in French.
Mangez notre baquettes crémeux, le cochon américain!
We are confident that this is just further News of our sweeping Victory after the Treaty.
Written by Jefferson VanTravis