Funeral home has no legs to stand on

Did you know that you’re going to die?

Yes, we mean you, right there, reading this post on SeriouslyGuys. And your boss who’s reading over your shoulder right now, too.

Just kidding! No, not about dying. That’s still going to happen, maybe 20 years from now, maybe during your next bathroom break.

The important part is that you need to make sure that you’re buried 100 percent intact. The last thing you need is for your vacated body to rot unevenly once you’re hoisted into the ground while wearing a backless suit and short pants. Dignity, people.

Why do we bring this up? Cave Funeral Services, an Allendale, South Carolina funeral home, is under investigation for possibly severing a corpse’s legs so it would fit into the coffin. Of course, the reports imply that a man’s legs were severed, but let’s just agree that — no matter what you believe — he wasn’t exactly “home” anymore.

The body of the ex-6-foot, five-inch-James Hines has been exhumed from its 2004 grave for investigation by the coroner based on the allegations of a former employee of the parlor.  While the coroner, Hayzen Black, has found “undesirable evidence,” but would not elaborate on whether the ghost of James Hines is in a wheelchair.