It’s a new year, in case you were wondering why everyone was hung over yesterday. We would like to begin 2009 on a bright note, but alas, battles wear on, and the War on Animals continues because our enemies do not recognize the Gregorian calendar (we mean animals, not the Chinese).
A Russian scholar is making waves lately, madly claiming that humans did not kill off the woolly mammoth but merely had a part in killing off the woolly mammoth. Sergey Zimov of the Russian Academy of Science claims that there were three factors that doomed the hairy elephants. This probably communist says that climate change, a meteor and of course, we humans, created a perfect storm that made them go extinct.
Really, Comrade Zimov? A meteor? Haven’t you alleged scientists already used that excuse to explain away the disappearance of the dinosaurs? Get real, Russkie. Our ancestors kill those bad boys off and it remains a legacy every human can be proud of.