God and dogs don’t mix

You know who’s been quiet in the War on Animals? God. That’s who. Sure, he created the animals and gave us domain over them, but what does he think now that they are trying to overrun us?

We’re still waiting for the Big Guy to open up the heavens and root us on, but until then, we are convinced he’s on our side. Unfortunately, the species traitors think he’s on their side, too. One church in Austin, Texas (figures) is even inviting dogs, man’s alleged best friend, to worship with their owners.

We all know that keep a pet is perfectly acceptable. They are servants and let us learn about our enemy. But bringing them to church is wrong. Animals have no soul, have no concept of a higher being, and cannot get into heaven, no matter what the movies might say. Dogs attending our services just gives the false notion that we can work this war out.

It’s not that simple.