God can’t beat swine flu

H1N1 (swine) flu is coming for you. It’s not just a lame rhyme, it’s a message the Catholic Church in Italy wants you to know. That’s why they aren’t letting people kiss a vial of blood from Saint Gennaro at Naples’ annual festival this month.

You know, because kissing a vial of a dead person’s blood that thousands of other people have kissed would be completely safe otherwise.