Great, now they’re using weapons

If you read this blog at all, you know the one simple truth: animals are everywhere and they are out to get us. But you’re smart, you come here for the latest updates. We help you face the danger others choose to ignore so they can sleep at night. We’re like your own person Jack Bauer.

If you ever find yourself in Sweden, don’t go to the Furuvik Zoo–unless you’re armed. That’s where the Swedes are keeping Santino the chimpanzee. Like any other chimp, Santino is dangerous as hell and has no regard for human life. But he takes it a step eviler.

Santino plots when he’s had enough of tourists. So he piles up some rocks and waits for just the right time. When the time comes, he launches the rocks at unsuspecting tourists, sometimes hitting them. Why does he do this? You can only fling poop so far.