Half man! Half man! Half man!*

*As an apology for writing about Two and a Half Men, the Guys have used a line from a far superior show to try to make up for it. Sorry.

Chuck Lorre, creator of Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory and Lawyer Porks the Granola Out of Some Hippie Chick

Angus T. Jones, the “half” in Two and a Half Men since he was 10 years old, has turned 19 and realized what most people do as they mature: that his show is garbage. Its scripts are generally what 1 Corinthians describes as speaking, thinking and reasoning as a child, which Angus — reaching the age of manhood — has decided to put away. Meanwhile, showrunner Chuck Lorre will continue to write exactly like this, whether on this show or in the six-season-long wedgie he’s been giving to nerds on The Big Bang Theory.

If Jones is legit, then godspeed. If he’s merely pulling a fake Kirk Cameron because even Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher couldn’t destroy Two and a Half Men, then may his contract be short and found non-binding.