China’s space program is barring aspiring astronauts with halitosis, which is just one of 100 new rules for wannabe flyboys flygirls flypeople..
One hundred candidates, both male and female, have reported to the No. 454 Hospital of the People’s Liberation Army in in the hopes of joining the burgeoning ranks of China’s astronauts. Nanjing doctor Shi Bing Bing (who has a totally awesome name, mind you) revealed to Chinese newspapers that, in addition to passing rigorous mental and physical tests, the candidates will have to fulfill a list of 100 mandatory standards before they’ll be allowed to fly. One item on the list: absolutely no bad breath, as one’s breath and other body odors can negatively affect colleagues in the confines of a space craft.
Other requirements include no cavities, no scars, no drug allergies, no ringworm, no runny noses, and no serious family illness in the last three generations. Married aspirants must get permission from their spouses before they can leave the Earth. And candidates are expected to possess a generally “pleasant and adaptable disposition.” What’s not on the list? No farting. Oh, so morning breath is a mission-killer, but if an astronaut rips one after trying out a 3 bean burrito (possibly freeze-dried), then things are okie-dokie?
Stiff requirements? Yup. Probably because, according to the good doctor, China is attempting to create the modern superhero. A modern superhero that cannot kill rogue aliens with nasty breath. Smart move, China.
Protip: If you are a modern superhero in China, don’t get too self-righteous. You might just get run over by a tank.