That’s right, folks. The first of the big holidays is finally here. It’s time to celebrate the 62nd anniversary of the founding of the U.N. Yes, on this day in 1945, the U.N was founded as a way for countries to better communicate with each other. Clearly, it worked, since there have been no wars since then.
So get ready to celebrate the traditional U.N. Day way: gather with your friends friends of different race or country around the U.N. Day tree, sing the traditional U.N. Day carols and exchange gifts. Once you and are done with those festivities, it’s time to sit down and draft sanctions against people you don’t like very much. Be sure to vote on the non-binding resolutions condemning their actions!
The Alabama delegation proposes these sanctions against you, Bryan McBournie:
WHEREAS you are a whore in violation of the UN Charter,
AND you refuse to submit to an inspection by a licensed whore crisis team,
AND you refuse to renounce your whorishness to this august body,
THEREFORE, be it resolved, that no member nation may engage in beneficial economic dealings with you until you comply with this mandate.
And may God have mercy on your whorely soul.