Heroic Icelandic police end sinfulness of immoral cat orgies

So, the east coast of the United States was ravaged by the biggest hurricane in Atlantic history. But! Crises were still happening all around the world, especially for local police in Suðurnes, Iceland. To sum it up in two words: “cat parties.”

According to the Rekjavík Grapevine, Suðurnes police were “called out to break up a party being held by cats.”

Morgunblaðið reports that residents living around a house known to be unoccupied for some time noticed several cats coming in and out of an open window. This piqued the curiosity of residents, who summarily called police to the location at around noon last Sunday.

Police arrived at the scene and, entering the house, found no people there. However, two to three cats – the exact number is still unclear – were allegedly occupying the house. According to police reports, the cats were “snuggling” on a couch that had been left behind by the previous residents.

Officers on the scene sprang into action, immediately evicting the cats from the house. They then ensured that all doors and windows into the house were securely closed and locked, in the hopes of preventing an incident of this sort from ever happening again.

Snuggling? Let’s face it, snuggling wasn’t what was stopped, but pure and unfiltered, immoral cat-sex. The prevention of more animal soldiers being used against us AND ending unlawful squatting of property? That’s called a good day, people.