Horses decreasing, mystery burgers more popular

It’s a bad time to be a horse in Florida. Then again, that statement assumes there was ever a good time to be a horse in Florida. Anyway, horses are being killed by people other than their owners. No one knows if the culprits are our stealthier warriors or just people who are hungry.

Even so, we are glad to hear that the antiquated forms of transportation are being put down once and for all. The people of Florida have had it with horses. They watch you all day, pretending to be tame, just waiting to throw you or kick you in the head the moment you let down your guard.

I say nay (not “neigh”), we will no longer let ourselves been watched and followed by an enemy trying to pass itself off as loyal. Kill the horses. If you want to eat them, well that’s your thing, buddy.