Vice President-elect Joe Biden’s birthday is today. We are sure you are already aware of this, because it is a national holiday and all. Biden is turning a spry 66 today. That means he was born in 1942. So, the man is older than two states in out Union, and he is also a fun person to drink with.
One would think the man who would be vice president would get some sort of soiree, but sadly, it appears that has not happened. Not only did the Philadelphia Eagles not win one for him on Sunday (but then again, a tie in football is pretty special), but his future boss was kind of lame. What did President-elect Barack Obama get Captain Coattail? Some cupcakes.
Clearly, someone was not paying attention to us. That’s why The Guys bring you how to celebrate a birthday.
Tools:
- Keys to the Russell Senate Office Building
- Campaign staff
- Alcohol
1) Make it a surprise.
The best parties are the ones that you show up to and as you walk in everyone yells something at you. Sometimes this word is “Surprise!” sometimes it’s “Put your hands behind your head and get down on the floor!” (Oh, those rap songs and their catchy lyrics.)
For purposes of education, we will use Biden as our example. As mentioned before, he is 66, which means he’s getting up there. What better a way to celebrate an increasingly frail man’s life than to scare the crap out of him? Unfortunately, this means the party will likely have to be held at your place, but you might be able to get it to happen in his Senate office. Hey, why not? He is vacating the thing in a few months, suckers!
2) Make sure there are a lot of people there.
There’s nothing more depressing than having a birthday party and nobody shows up. (Not that we’d know! Heh heh … heh. *sigh*) Obviously, this is going to be a little tricky. Biden didn’t have as many friends as he had hoped. If he did, he wouldn’t have a “vice” at the beginning of his new title. But luckily, someone still has the email list from his campaign. Remember, it’s not spamming if a) they willingly gave you their email address and b) it involves alcohol. Which brings us to …
3) Make sure there’s a lot of booze.
Make no mistake about it Biden will drink. Oh yes, he will drink like a camel that hasn’t seen water in days. (Also like a camel, Biden will only urinate in one spot.) He also likes the ladies. Folks, this guy is going to put the “vice” in “vice president,” so you had better make sure you have plenty of it available for him.
Let’s try to keep in mind that this man is going to have a tough job. He has to get up every morning, be informed that no, he’s not needed for a photo-op that day, and go back to bed. The man is going to be on the edge of his seat for at least four years. You bet he’s going to let his remaining hair down. The rumors of his sobriety are false, trust us.
4) Entertainment!
As with any party, booze and women aren’t enough to keep things going. You need some music to fill in the awkward silences, and you need some games to play.
May we suggest:
- Pin the tail on the tail
- Hey, who invited Ted Kennedy?
- Risk
- Do a shot and then try to say “Delaware”
- The Office trivia (The dude loves that show. It takes place in his hometown.)