- Get super extremely drunk.
- Fall down onto an oncoming subway train’s path and lose a leg.
- ??????
- Profit.
Well, or something like that. Dustin Dibble, newly made cripple (what’s the PC term for that? “bi-crus challenged?”) was walking home, stinking drunk from having a night out with his friends, when he falls down … onto a subway track … with a subway train bearing right down … over his right leg.
Whoops.
Despite being so hammered that he doesn’t actually remember the event happening, he was still awarded over 2.3 million dollars in a lawsuit against the NYC Transit. Surprisingly enough, there’s been no mention of how far away the train was when Dibble fell down. Dibble’s defense case in court:
“It was just an accident [but] it wasn’t my choice to lose my leg,”
Which is commendable, mind you. It’s so good to see that getting piss drunk and falling into the path of an oncoming subway train hasn’t dampened his inability to take responsibility for his actions. Well done, sir. Well done.