If you love marriage so much …

Is it just us or does it seem odd that a group of unmarried freeloaders are considering themselves experts on marriage? It’s kind of like learning the ins and outs of scuba diving from people who are afraid to swim.

That hasn’t stopped the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops from issuing a series of letters to explain their positions, again, on marriage, reproductive rights and cyborgs patients on life support.

We haven’t read these earth-shattering documents, but we’ll sum them up for you anyway:

“You got married, now have babies and don’t you stop until the corpse of your spouse is cold.”

(If the other week was bad for Scientology, how weird is it that the Catholics were next for this week?)