Illness, money problems and Miley Cyrus

Ask.com the search engine that not many people use anymore, released the top ten questions asked of it this year. Shockingly, “How awesome is Bryan McBournie?” was left off the list. Nevertheless, according to my watch, there is still one month left to turn that around. I’m looking to you all out there to help this dream come true.

The questions are:

  1. How much should I weigh?
  2. How do I get out of debt fast?
  3. How do I get pregnant?
  4. What is Twitter?
  5. What is Miley Cyrus’ phone number?
  6. What is the meaning of life?
  7. When will the world end?
  8. How long does marijuana stay in your system?
  9. What are the symptoms of Swine Flu?
  10. What time is it?

Basically, we’re all fat, broke, desperate, confused, pederastic, existentialist, fatalist, reeferheaded, under the weather and somehow unable to see the damn clock that sits on the corner of our screens. Don’t worry, I have the answers here for you. You could stand to lose a few pounds. Sell drugs. You didn’t pay attention in high school, did you? It’s an interesting microblogging site old people call “The Twitter.” I don’t know it, but you know, everybody has those days. Whiskey. Several months, because of a significant half life. Coughing, headache, fever, chills, vomiting, diarrhea, and similar to excessive exposure to Glen Beck. It’s 9 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, now get a watch.

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