Between invading and annexing other countries and launching cyber-attacks to rig our elections, you’d think Russian President Vladimir Putin would be too busy to make a stand for civil rights. And you’d be wrong, because — when the International Olympics Committee enforced their ban on nearly the entire Russian track and field team for systematically … Continue reading Putin: #dopelivesmatter
Russia may smell nice, but it’s a very dark and evil place, according to Google. The company recently fixed a bug in its translation app where “Russian Federation” was translated as “Modor” from Ukrainian to Russian. It was also translating “Russians” as “occupiers,” apparently mad about the Russian annexation of Crimea last year. Google said … Continue reading Google thinks Vladimir Putin is Sauron
Russian civilians are not taking U.S.-led sanctions against their economy sitting down. The U.S.-lead sanctions in response to Russian military actions in Ukraine put the recently-opened New York Pizzeria in the far eastern region of Amur in the spotlight. According to Russian media* (so, you know, take that how you will), angry Russian patriots filed a … Continue reading What? Was ‘Putin on the Pepperoni’ already taken?
Mark it on your calendars, fellow Americans. From this point on, we can no longer adopt designer babies from Russia. According to a bill signed by Russian President Vladimir Putin, wealthy U.S. moms will have to dress underfed kids from pretty much everywhere else in the world in our country’s unused skinny jeans. If that … Continue reading Putin hits us right in the Jolie’s
We applaud CNN over many fronts, especially when giving us our headline of the day.
The last WikiLeaks revelation of U.S. State Department secret documents have hit most world leaders in one way or another. But one leader’s response to our foreign relations mean girl tactics is much funnier than the others. Vladimir Putin has objected to a U.S. cable that described him as the “alpha dog,” the Batman to … Continue reading Holy leaked memos, Putin!
When it comes to modern leadership, there aren’t a lot of charismatic characters. You get the wannabes like Kim Jong Il, who think parades and sorority girl sunglasses make them colorful and interesting. There are the merely entertaining like Sarah Palin, the Snooki of politics who doesn’t lead anything and thinks any attention is good … Continue reading The Real Story: Putin’s mug
As the saying goes, there ain’t no party like a Moscow party, because a Moscow party don’t stop. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, who you may know as a politician, showed off his mad rapping skills on Russia’s version of MTV. OK, well really he was just there to talk, but hey, he may have … Continue reading Respect the Putin
How did you spend your Labor Day weekend? Grilling? Lazy ass. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin spent his fighting the War on Animals. How? Oh, he just won a fight with a tiger, that’s all. Yes, we may have mentioned Putin recently, blaming the U.S. for the Russian invasion of Georgia. Apparently he reads SG … Continue reading Warrior of the Week: Vladimir Putin
For a not-president-of-Russia-anymore, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin sure has a lot to say about the invasion of Georgia. (They’re now up to ceasefire number 28: one more beats the Israeli-Palestinian monthly record!) Putin now accuses the United States of starting this war, claiming our government encouraged Georgia to oppress South Ossetia and dispatched agents … Continue reading Putin: ‘B-b-b-but they did it!’
