Jurassic Park just got a whole lot more furrier and realer

Oh, and Russia-ier.

Russia’s always been just a bit more backwards than other countries. They say our catchphrases long after they’ve been played out, pop stars are still gigantic hits over there and they allow Dolph Lundgren to film movies in their country, long after his shelf-date expired.

Along with that, they apparently still let prehistoric animals be found as perfectly preserved specimens.

Quickly, can we get someone to use the cleansing power of fire onto it? Using my knowledge of movie science (which is just ever so slightly different than real science), theoretically, a woolly mammoth can be genetically recreated by taking the DNA and placing it in a mama elephant. And if the egg is in pristine condition.

THAT’S NOT GOOD IF MOVIE SCIENCE IS ACTUALLY CORRECT IN THIS CASE. I don’t know how many paintings of woolly mammoths that you’ve seen, but it’s always a whole lot of furry guys trying to take down just one … and that one is usually the sick one. And even then, the sick one’s got gnarly tusks. Now imagine a large herd of them trampling around the world. That’s not pretty.

Let’s not end up like Dennis Nedry. Kill the sample while we still can.