Hey, kidz! After seeing Miley Cyrus’ risqué photo-shoot, you may be asking yourself, “How do I get in on that action?” First of all, shame on you for talking like a bookie: you were raised better than that. Second, you can’t expect to make millions of dollars on your first foray into child pornography fame and fortune, you silly-billy.
You see, the economy (that’s a grown-up word for “managing more money than your dad makes”) is based on supply and demand. This basically means that if there’s a lot of something that’s given away for cheap or free, then it is worth little money. But if there’s only a little of something and everybody wants/needs it, then it is worth a crapload of money.
For example, take former high-end call girl, Ashley Alexandra Dupre (please!). When she first started out at 17 years-old, she could only give her naked pictures away for booze to “Girls Gone Wild.” (Ask your parents.) That means her first naked pictures only cost about $9 in lemon-shooters, and that was video!
Did Ashley give up? No. She then worked as a prostitute and got so good at it that it cost $2000 and a political career to spend one night with her! You see, she knew that while there are many women who will, um, wrestle with New York mayors, there were only a few really hot ones who could be discreet. (Good call girls are just like you, kids: better seen but not heard.)
Now that her former BFF’s life and career are over (who said boys and girls can’t be friends?), she’s a new type of person: a famous, attractive homewrecker. There are plenty of ugly homewreckers on Jerry Springer, so she’s what financial analysts call a rare commodity. Now people will pay millions just to see her.
In fact, remember that “Girls Gone Wild” video that cost five seconds of her vacation? That’s now worth $10 million!
And that is how supply and demand works. So if you start posting naked pictures of yourself on the Internet now, you won’t get a lot of money at first. But like that savings account you opened with your dad when you turned 8 years-old, you have to keep adding to it and let it sit for a long time. Who knows? By the time you’re 18, maybe you’ll make millions, too!
Just make sure you keep your market value up by constantly topping your previous shenanigan. And don’t let yourself get out of shape. Think of an eating “disorder” as a solid marketing plan!
Good luck, and we’ll see you … on the Internet.
FYI-all that food that’ll be promptly thrown up due to the bulimia/eating disorder/marketing plan is totally a tax write-off.