MasterChugs Theater: ‘Big Money Rustlas’

Gah.

Duh…..gahhhhh.

Reviewing these movies may have been a bad idea. Seriously, this movie nearly broke me. Remind me to never do this again, and I LIKE bad movies.

I now present to you Big Money Rustlas.

This review won’t be a typical one mainly because this isn’t your typical bad movie, as evidenced by the fact that it’s an Insane Clown Posse film. Instead, allow me to illustrate some bullet-points regarding this film is so horrid.

• Ron Jeremy, he of the hedgehog fame, appears in this movie. Despite being a joke of an actor, he’s still fairly well-known. And despite this, he has lesser billing to someone named “Blaze Ya Dead Homie.”
• This was the worst thing in the world to do.
• I have a bad feeling that a lot of the movie didn’t so much consist of an actual script but of improv style acting. In a lot of cases, that’s a good thing. This is not one of those cases.
• Acid water burns the ground but apparently not a well-used wooden bucket? Brain ker-spolosion.
• In potentially the most politically correct move made by the Insane Clown Posse, a steam-powered wheelchair makes an appearance. This is probably to cheer up their steampunk enthusiast fans.
• How niche is that? “Steam-punk-enthusiast Insane Clown Posse fans.” “Why yes, that is face-paint underneath my goggles.”
• I know that obesity is a serious problem that plagues an incredibly large portion of the United States of America, but DAMN, that’s a LOT of overweight people in this movie! How about offering some Diet Faygo whatever at the craft services table next time?
• There is no nudity in this film. Because ICP is attached to it, I’m not sure if I actually feel bad about that.
• Seriously, this might be the worst movie that I’ve ever seen in my life.
• For those that clicked the IMDB link, your eyes did not deceive you: the movie was indeed written by someone who uses the title of Violent J.
• Along with magnets and giraffes, other things that the ICP doesn’t understand: squibs, lens flare, lighting, acting, face-paint.
• Anyone interested in destroying their brain and also has access to Netflix Instant, you can view the movie here.
• I am never doing this again.