MasterChugs Theater: ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’

This is it, the big summer blockbuster for 2011: Transformers: Dark of the Moon. We’ve seen how I felt about Transformers and how I felt about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (here’s a hint for the latter: my opinion has not changed for the better since first seeing it). So, is this one any good? Did it out-Bay Michael Bay himself? DOES SHIA LEBOUF GROW FACIAL HAIR?

Well, I’d tell you, but you’ll have click the jump to find out. What can I say, I like a good cliffhanger. Oh, there might be some spoilers here and there, but I’ll try to keep them minimal. Just a warning if I slip up.

So, for the loyal faithful, they know that I really like this movie series, much how some people really like The Matrix, but not so much in that some people really like The Matrix and end up dressing like they’re in The Matrix. And that’s understandable. Giant robots fighting other giant robots is a fairly easy enough concept to get behind. It’s not hard sci-fi unless you really begin thinking about it, but who can do that when robots that turn into trucks are going PYEW-PYEW?

But is that a problem? Maybe. The first movie had a great balance of whimsical coming of age journey/story with action; however, thanks to the most recent writer’s strike, the second movie was a victim of writing without anyone saying no. And internet fanboy raaaaaage! Which leads us to the most recent movie.

As it starts, Sam Witwicky has taken a new lover is dating a new girl, Carly, and the two of them are living together in our nation’s capital. The Autobots have begun working in tandem with the United States government, flushing out Decepticon nests and Energon sources in foreign countries (did we actually have geo-political and social commentary from Michael Bay?). And Megatron? Megatron, though but a (near literal, if rusting denotes what lies behind us) shadow of his former self, still commands his most loyal of troops, Starscream and Doctor Klaw Soundwave.

But secrets will soon tear everything (and Chicago) apart. The United States and other foreign governments may have known about the transformers long before Optimus ever set foot on Earth; however, more than that, some specific robots may have known about said secret as well. There is death, there is betrayal and there is conflict.

I saw this in 3D on opening night, and the first thing that needs to be said about this movie is that it’s definitely better than Revenge of the Fallen; however, the more I keep saying that, the more I have to reiterate “but that’s not saying a lot.” Nonetheless, it should. The film looks absolutely phenomenal. We may not be completely and totally out of a financial slump, but it’s worth it to spring the extra few bucks a ticket to see it in 3D.

Shia’s still plucky and whiny as ever, but the biggest surprise was Rosie Huntington-Whitely, the Victoria’s Secret angel that plays Carly. While, yes, the previous measuring stick was Megan Fox, you might could say that the bar’s been raised. Huntington wasn’t amazing, and she won’t be winning an Oscar for this movie, but for the girl’s first ever role, she was pretty good. Strong emotion and chemistry came through from her, and that’s always a good thing. It doesn’t hurt that the girl is gorgeous.

The other cameo (and cameo-ish) roles were great. Ken Jeong and comedian Andy Daly brought some solid laughs, as you’d expect. John Malkovich, as the prototypical boss that’s seen it all, was great, but it’s to be expected from Malkovich. The same could be said about John Turturro, who returns to play (former) Agent Seymour. Now rich and famous, he shows what the good life is like when viewed from the working government stiff’s eye. Oh, and he rides around in a Maybach, so he’s got that going for him. Whedonites being the senseless devout and loyal Whedonites that they are will want to see the movie for Alan Tudyk, who steals the show in any of his scenes.

That’s not to say that everything’s great. While it’s a good movie, it’s not a perfect movie, or in this reviewer’s opinion, better than the first movie. There’s a potential plot hole what-if scenario, but that’s possibly a spoiler, so email or contact me to get it. Some scenes are still ultra-busy, just like in the previous film, hindering some of the fights. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to maybe do something involving names of characters or devices. We know that the transformers are near shape-shifters, but a unique identity wouldn’t hurt from time to time, so that way, when someone is being chased by a pack of Cadillac Escalabots or a giant burrowing Dune worm robot, maybe we know why it’s so thrilling, outside of the obvious. Your audience is smarter than you think, Michael.

Also, Sam’s parents continue their devolution in the series into being the worst part of it. Specifically, they’re the worst part of this movie, though no leg-humping robots or racist caricatures given metal life are seen this time around. They nag, and I suppose Mom is trying to be cool by cursing, but it just seems overly forced. So, while that may be accurate, this is a fictional movie. There’s a time and place for everything, but this is not it.

Another part is Shockwave. You may have seen him on the posters: he’s the gray, imposing looking robot with a cannon for one arm and one sole eye. Pretty scary, right? Fans of the original cartoon might remember the purple Decepticon that changed into a laser gun-that’s him, but updated for the modern age. The problem with him is that he’s in all of two scenes, and his dialogue consists of beastly growls and snarls. That’s a cop-out. A design like his should have been given a voice actor, rather than stock animal noises. And, as to be expected, he goes out like a bitch. Follow-through, Michael.

Despite all of these quibbles, I really enjoyed the movie. For the most part, the camera lingers around enough to capture the details of the alien robots, though in my defense, I did see it in digital 3D, so it’s damn well going to do that. Still, it almost seems as if Michael Bay might have listened to some of the criticism dealt his way for Revenge of the Fallen. Slapstick was toned down. Competency was shown from both genders. Visual coherency as seen by the naked eye was maintained. The female eye-candy might actually have some chops.

I’ll defend this movie. It has its faults, but it also has its strengths. The franchise continues to be a summer blockbuster series, Dark of the Moon is more of a big dumb’ish fun movie, rather than a big stupid fun movie (if you can differ between semantics). If I had to give the first movie a rating on a 10 point scale, I would’ve given it an 8 or 8.5. Revenge of the Fallen would have gotten a retrospective 2 at best (seriously, I need to update that review). Transformers: Dark of the Moon gets a 7, maybe a 7.5. This might be Michael Bay’s best movie that he’s done on his own yet.

Which, obviously, is relatively speaking.

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