Alright, people of the Internet. We’ve called this meeting because it’s time for us to settle once and for all what zombies are. We believe we can all agree that, technically:
1. A person who eats faces, but is not dead, is a cannibal. [NOT A ZOMBIE]
2. A person who cuts out their own guts and throws them at the police, but again is not dead, is one of the Gang of Four. [NOT A ZOMBIE]
3. A person who hits someone with their car and then zaps them with a stun gun, but is not only not dead, but also arrested, is [NOT A ZOMBIE], no matter what their vanity license plate may claim.
Glad we could settle this. Rage on.
How can you be so sure? They never use the term “zombies” in zombie movies anymore, so maybe the definition has changed.
Yeah, because they aren’t zombies in those movies anymore. They’re living people with the “rage virus.”
Except in Shaun of the Dead, where the zombies were dead, but nobody wanted to use the word because it would be derogatory towards Shaun’s mom.
I can’t thank you enough for the Riki-Oh reference.
Just so everyone knows zombie was the name of her dog! And she just passed away unfortunatly.
She did indeed pass away. Too much was played in to the “attack” the news is just running out of stories. Rest in peace Yardley