Attention New Jerseyans (Jerseytes?)
Be ready for some sketchy and generally unhappy people milling around today. The dice tables on Atlantic Avenue sidewalks are scheduled to open tonight at 10 p.m.
America is dead to me
This is not a link to some other news item: this is a SeriouslyGuys exclusive news bulletin. I would suggest that you swallow any liquids in your mouth that could damage your monitor before reading further.
Is that coffee sip in Digestion Land now? Good.
Not one (1) channel broadcasted “1776” yesterday for our Independence Day. Perhaps it’s only in Alabama where they can’t handle all the “slavery-is-a-moral-disgrace-despite-its-economic-necessity-in-the-South” parts. I’d like to think it was aired somewhere, but I have DirectTV, so fat chance.
So if American television networks–networks that call themselves “National” and “American” like ABC and NBC–cannot salve my annual musical fix, then I submit that they must change their names, and the terrorists may or may not have won.
Happy Fourth of July!
We at SeriouslyGuys are taking the day off to blow up a chunk of the land that we celebrate today. You should too! We’ll be back tomorrow. Happy Fourth of July from SeriouslyGuys!
Mentos: The Fireworks Maker
Apocalypse someday
Sure the asteroid missed us this time around, but grab some popcorn, folks. It could get us next time around.
Kids are soft
…And I blame American “researchers” and their “reports” and “studies.”
Besides, weren’t Darwin and Spencer researchers?
Got protests?
I’m sure this demonstration attracted an even larger herd of gawking perverts than usual.
Besides breastfeeding intolerance, they also demonstrated that native English speakers still abuse the term “irony:”
“‘How ironic…. They’ve made millions by perpetuating the stereotype of breasts as solely sexual objects. But when a woman wants to use them for what nature really intended them for – nursing – they kick her out.'”
Soused suffrage
It certainly doesn’t happen in Mexico. One more reason this blog is proud to be American.
A whole lotta shakin’ going on
Actually, given the magnitude of what happened, it’s not even really enough to mash potatoes.
THE CROPS ARE SAVED! HUZZAH! IDAHO’S ECONOMIC LIFEBLOOD SURVIVES YET AGAIN!