When the difference is 22 years, age is not just a number

Most 37 year-old women consider a nine month period of being jailed a pregnancy. However, for Lisa Lynette Clark of Gainesville, GA, she actually will be in prison. Clark pled guilty to charges of statutory rape and will not be allowed to see the 15 year-old alleged father of her infant son until he becomes a man at 17.

Clark was allowed to marry her baby’s daddy through a loophole in Georgia state law that permits marriage to minors if the blushing bride has a baby on board. Giving yet further insight as to why those crazy southerners lost the war.

Heart attacks! Get’cher heart attacks right ‘here!

You know how reports are always complaining about how Americans are the most obese people in the world? I’m pretty sure that this is the equivalent to taking five million steps backwards with only the slightest bend forward. Straight from the land of fiction to fact: it would appear that the most dangerous game in America is not football, NASCAR or video games (despite what crazy lawyer Jack Thompson might think), but minor league baseball. Actually, it’s the food that’s served at the games of a minor league baseball team in Sauget, Illinois.

Nothing spikes attendance to minor league baseball games like heart attacks and diabetes.

No commies, no space race

The big question on NASA’s giant collective mind right now: Mars or Saturn?

And for the more sophomoric out there, no, Uranus is not “an ideal spot ripe for exploration.”

Until NASA makes its choice, expect further tax dollars funneled into robots that do not work, only sent to two locations instead of one. By the way, isn’t there a space station and telescope these guys don’t play with anymore?

What is it with new species this week?

In keeping with the recent trends of this blog to cover artifacts and new species, have you ever heard of a rat-squirrel? Didn’t think so. Most non-paleontologists haven’t, since science was said it had gone extinct millions of years ago. That is until they found one this week.

In a modern-day coelacanth story (that story is so last century!), scientists found a live species of a family long thought to be extinct for 11 million years. It was found this week in Laos. Scientists say they are pleased to find an ancient species to study, and add that it is best served with a side of kimchi.

In other news, cancel your weekend plans.