| Filed under Booze News

Eat My Sports: D to the I to the D he do it?

I’m a fan of sports and a fan of music. My world and P.Diddy’s stopped crossing parallels round about when Keith Van Horn was drafted out of Utah and “Ill Be Missing You” was making everyone hate Daddy (at the time) for desecrating  Notorious B.I.G AND The Police. But it appears, since the first time since were merely freshmen, our worlds meet again, Mr. Combs.

One of P Dizzle’s sons is a DB and apparently cant play. Diddy, fresh off telling the cheerleaders that he had the lead track on a Godzilla album, didn’t like what one of the Bruins’ coaching staff members had to say, and well, Diddy went Diddy. Continue reading

| Filed under Regular Post

Venezuelan golfers may lead their country to war with Swiss

Things are tense right now in Venezuela, as golf balls could trigger an international incident.

Switzerland and Venezuela, natural enemies for as long as anyone can remember, appear to be on the brink of war because people can’t keep their drives in the fairway. The Swiss ambassador’s residence has been pelted with golf balls because it borders a hole at the Caracas Country Club. The ambassador has warned Venezuela that the Swiss people will not tolerate such an affront to their national pride, going to far as to post a sign warning that should an errant golf ball injure or kill anyone in Swiss territory, it would violate the Vienna Convention.

These are dark days. Let us all hope that the traditionally hawkish Swiss cool down, and Venezuelan golfers improve their aim.

| Filed under Sex Sells

Even ketchup is kinky in Germany

Remember those six months QR codes were hot? Apparently they’re still a thing in Germany, and they’re making ketchup sexy again.

A man scanned the QR code on his bottle of ketchup to learn more about a contest Heinz had going on. He was surprised when it turned out that the code led him to an adult site (SFW), but we assume that’s just how things are in Germany. As it turns out, Heinz ran the contest from 2012 to 2014, and after it ended, the company didn’t think it was necessary to maintain ownership rights to the site.

So if you have any ketchup bottles from last year, you may get a special surprise from Heinz.

| Filed under You Missed It

You Missed It: Female of the specie edition

Finishing the job Aaron Burr began two centuries ago.
Finishing the job Aaron Burr began two centuries ago.

I’m really trying not to get cynical about things. That’s why when I heard that police caught the racist trash who killed nine people he didn’t know, I tried to focus on the fact that unlike so many shooters, he was taken alive, and now he’ll have to answer for his crimes. Maybe we’ll learn something from him and figure out how to keep this from happening again. I’m still trying to convince myself that we’re going to change this time. Let’s shift gears now. If you were busy getting sent to the purgatory of MSNBC this week, odds are you missed it.

Eat it, Alexander Hamilton
This week, Treasury Secretary Jack Lew announced that the $10 bill will feature a woman when the newest redesign is released in 2020, even though no one uses paper currency anymore. He didn’t mention any names, but said that it would be an American woman who represents the best in American values. So congratulations, Kim Kardashian!

Pope tells world to clean up its room
Pope Francis called out the rich and powerful for harming the environment, saying that Earth looks like “an immense pile of filth.” He called on everyone around the world to avoid the sin of polluting the Earth. The head of the Catholic Church also said that there is a “solid scientific consensus” that climate change is mostly cause by humans. Plus, Donald Trump announced he’s running for president. Weird week, huh?

When trans fats are outlawed, only outlaws will have trans fats
The FDA announced this week that trans fats will be banned by 2018. The federal agency’s announcement was criticized for being trans-phobic, especially for Pride Month.

| Filed under It Must Be Science!

Why aren’t you dropping acid at work?

If you want to be at your best at work every day, you need to start your morning off right. That means taking LSD.

Some may take coffee to get going in the morning (or for other reasons), but according to Dr. James Fadiman, a small dose of a hallucinogenic drug, such as LSD, will help you to solve problems creatively and make grueling tasks seem more entertaining. The key is to “microdose,” or give yourself less than 1% of the dose you would need to trip.

So tomorrow, sprinkle some acid on your Lucky Charms. It may just help you get that big promotion.

| Filed under War on Animals

Mayflies can bring our summer roads a taste of winter

When a bug hits your windshield, it’s not a big deal, but when thousands of bugs cover a bridge, it’s another matter.

In Pennsylvania, a “blizzard” of mayflies swarmed a bridge, making it hard to see. That’s bad enough, but then the mayflies decided it was a good time to die en masse. In fact, there were so many dead bugs on the bridge that the road surface became slippery, causing three separate motorcycle accidents.

The animals are so dedicated to their cause that they will sacrifice themselves by the truckload just to take a few of us out. Drive carefully, everyone.

| Filed under It Must Be Science!

1 woman today equals 1 man in 1960s, report says

We’ve still got work to do, but it’s something.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, the average American woman now weighs about the same as the average man did in the 1960s, roughly 166 pounds. For women, it’s an 18.5% increase from 50 years ago. In the same time, American men have ballooned 17.6%, to 196 pounds. The report doesn’t say this, but it’s probably because back then everyone was smoking, and now they’re not.

But honestly folks, there are no excuses. We need to close the weight gap and we need to do it now.

| Filed under Eat My Sports

Eat My Sports: Most Valuable Loser

I’ve been up front these past couple months in letting people know that my opinion of LeBron James has changed. I didn’t think it could after “The Decision,” but his run through The Finals has made me a believer in him again. That being said, I don’t like the narrative of him being The Finals’ MVP, that wave started when Cleveland started to realize that the series might be a lost cause.

My opinion is that the MVP needs to come from the winning team, plain and simple. It seems the Cavs though, need James to get the MVP as some sort of consolation prize if they end up losing. It’s sad that it’s come off this way, as his performance, people will not forget, however it stinks of desperation after I thought the Cavs were better than that as an organization. Continue reading

| Filed under Booze News

140-year-old beer survived a failed trip to North Pole

There are beers that are just badass and deserve an audience with your mouth, like if they were on an expedition to the North Pole. Unfortunately, you’ll never have any.

In 1875, Sir George Nares set off on an expedition to reach the North Pole. And he needed to bring along enough provisions to keep his men fed during the dangerous trip. Also, he needed beer. He didn’t make it to the North Pole, and 140-years later, a bottle of beer from that expedition turned up in some guy’s garage in England, and no one knows how it got there.

No doubt, a sip from a mysterious bottle would give you a taste of the grit these adventurers had, and perhaps even give you an inkling into how the beer got from the Arctic Circle, back to England. The bottle sold for 600 pounds, or probably around the same amount in real American dollars. So you’ll just have to drink some other beer until you feel like you’re on a doomed expedition.

| Filed under Booze News

Iowa court upholds right to drink outdoors

Freedom is still alive and well — at least in Iowa — after a recent high court ruling.

There, the state Supreme Court ruled that your front porch is private property and cannot be considered a public place. Why should you care about that? Because it means you are allowed to be as drunk as you want on your own front porch, provided that you live in Iowa.

The Guys salute Patience Paye, who took her drunk in public conviction to the highest court in the state to make sure that she and her fellow Iowans could still breathe free air and drink freely. If your porch isn’t a public place, just think of all the other private activities that are legal there.