For decades now, the media would have you think that carbon monoxide is the worst thing in the world. And why not? Having been named “the silent killer,” carbon monoxide pretty much sounds like the most menacing thing EVER. Darth Vader? Cancer? White people during the Crusades? Carbon monoxide beats them all.
But that’s scary at the silent level. What’s never talked about is the loud killer. And no loud killer is deadlier than a parrot.
Parrots will nip at your fingers. They will poop anytime that they’re let out of their cage. They will keep you up at night. And the worst part is that they will 100 percent break the first amendment. No, they won’t prevent you from speaking, but one of the key parts of the first amendment is that not all free speech is protected, i.e., a person can’t scream ‘fire’ in a crowded theater when there’s no fire.
And that’s totally what parrots will do (warning: autoplay). Because nothing is deadlier than spitting in the face of our Constitution. America.