Please detonate on or before 12-2-2013

It’s that most wonderful time of year, again. Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? The halls are being decked with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la.

(La-la la la.)

And, of course, Congress is warning us that terrorists could kill us within the next five years using weapons of mass destruction.

A prize-winning panel — at least one that earned a blue ribbon — believes that a biological or nuclear attack is likely between now and 2013. After that, the window of attack is closed and terrorists will have to use pointy sticks or something.

So, remember, these next five years are borrowed time. According to former Senator Bob Graham, we could be looking at “9/11 times 10 or a hundred.”

9,110 or even 91,100, people. We don’t even have calendars that read like that.

In related news, Congress doesn’t know that the elections are already over.

Update (5:51 PM):
OK, just checked the math. Actually,

(9/11) * 10 = 8.181818…

and

(9/11) * 100 = 81.818181…

Still, this does not compute on any reassuring calendar known to Americans.

3 thoughts on “Please detonate on or before 12-2-2013”

  1. Why don’t they just stop all flights going in and out of countries. Close off the borders. Let everyone mingle within their borders. Here’s a thought! Let’s live of our own economies for a change. Create our own jobs, eat our own produce. Let’s see which country survives.

  2. Hey – I totally agree with your response to this, and was laughing at what you said, it’s exactly what I thought. I was wondering if they read Da Vinci Code upside down while listening to AC/DC backwards to get their 2013 answer? I am tired of just dumb, unfounded fear in this country.

    Anyways, I am a manager at McDonalds, and my workers and I just started a site where we all make our own newspaper. It has only been up 2 weeks, but the workers love it, we are still new at it and the young guys can be vulgar or crass, but we are trying. Today I just put up my first real opinion article on it. You look like you have done this awhile, and if you could just look at the site or read the article and give some advice or even a comment, it would be so great – if not, I understand, it has taken so much time just doing this website thing – I didn’t know what we were getting into.

    The link to my response to the 2013 thing and the site is this:

    http://deepfriedworldwide.com/archives/109

    Thanks for your funny article, and best of luck, I will try and stop by again now that I am getting more into politics!

    -Radley

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