The Guys are aware that it’s tough to remember things when drinking, which is why God invented underwear and Sharpies. Drunkards, write these down before you go out:
1. Always drink from a clean glass. Minnesota beer salesman and enthusiast (because it’s not a job if it’s a passion) Joe Falkowski would like you to know that some pint glass cleaning methods leave soap residue, which can ruin the taste of your beer. Soap residue prevents suds from getting a good grip, so remember: if your beer leaves streaks, the glass is clean. (Or, basically, the opposite of how you know you’ve wiped enough.)*
2. Never tap a minor, especially as your designated driver. If you’ve had a few and absolutely must get to the store, don’t be a Shawn Weimer. Yes, your kid is probably more sober than you are right now, but that’s not a judgment call on her part. This is still the person who still needs reminders not to climb furniture ladders and finds the latest Adam Sandler releases endlessly hilarious. In short: drunk you equals sober child.
Thank you, and be sure to always drink in numbers, because that’s where safety lies.
*Special thanks to longtime friend of the site, Groonk, for the link!