Since 2001, the U.S. has beefed up border security, which has resulted in a few complications, like American citizens living in the U.S., yet walled off with Mexico. And northern citizens, who have cozied up with Canada over the past couple of centuries, even sharing towns and currency, have argued that there’s no reason to secure both borders. Were it possible to actually eat words, we imagine this argument would taste as shameful as licorice-flavored edible panties from Spencer’s, for animals have discovered America’s most vulnerable spot to attack: Canada.
A Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer — mounted, in this case, in a car — attempted to break up what appeared to be illegal mid-road moose assembly. It turned out to be an ambush, and the officer narrowly escaped with his life after a bull moose charged his trusty steed. The attacker broke off his front bumper, pierced the driver’s side window and injured the officer. Also, it left hoofprints on the roof and trunk, which may have desecrated the Canadian maple leaf if they put those sorts of things on their police cars.
Unfortunately, the RCMP were unable to get their
mooses moosen meese antlered men, which means these armed and dangerous beasts are heading for our border while we’re distracted with Hurricane Sandy. It’s time to wall off Canada and their animal terrorists for good.