In case your calendar doesn’t update to include every observation ever conceived by people with charities to fund, February 5 is National Wear Red Day.
National Wear Red Day was organized by the American Heart Organization, which doesn’t realize that red is already the color of:
- Wrist Awareness
- Sixth Grade Literacy (What? You didn’t read The Red Badge of Courage?)
- Republican Washington Nationals Fandom
- Khurramite Succession Over the Mazdak Religion
- Anthropomorphized Kool-Aid
Basically, we’re saying they could have received better notice if they chose a less used color.
By the way, we’re sorry that we reported everyone wearing red to the FBI for possible ties to Khurramite extremism. We got spooked by the sudden numbers.