Report: Bacon may not be brought home next year

It’s clear at this point that the British Empire has completely taken its eye off the ball.

This week, the U.K. National Pig Association (Really? We figured it would be named something more like The Royal Order of British Swineraisers and Hogfeeders.) said that there will be a pork and bacon shortage next year in the country, and quite possibly around the world, thanks to rising feed costs because of poor corn and soybean harvests around much of the world. This means the Internet will have to start making lampshades and other zany things out of rib eyes instead.

The really finding here is that this is good news. Around the world, people will hunt down wild boars in an effort to quench their bacon thirsts, and putting us one step ahead in the War on Animals.