‘Retirement’ redefined?

Continuing the news trend of celebrity atheletes who don’t know what “retired” means, Lance Armstrong has announced that he and his remaining testicle are racing again.

His goal is to win the Tour De France again raise awareness for cancer. You probably haven’t heard of cancer. It’s the disease that killed your grandmother. No, not the one who was crushed by her horse. The other one. You were six.

As a service to these egomaniac atheletes who can’t stop unretiring, this blog would like to offer them a new word: vacation.

You know, when you go away for a little bit and relax, then come back after a certain period of time? Yeah, you’re not retiring, you’re on vacation.

Stop trying to bait the press with retirement rumors. Soon they won’t believe you and you’ll have to fake your death just to interest them again.