Rich virgin boys to run from Switzerland to Apple’s open arms

The Swiss government is working hard to protect children from the evils of pornography … by banning pornography on all mobile devices. Why is a general ban necessary? Why, because if anyone’s allowed to get mobile porn, those crafty teenagers will find a way to get their hands on it! Totally sound logic all around–until, of course, you get the urge to watch highlights from the Swiss women’s Olympic volleyball team. Won’t someone stop thinking of the children and begin to think of the parents?

But wait–we’re not done with perverted cellphone news quite yet.

As if you couldn’t see enough actual boobs on your iPhone, some genius nerd geek virgin scary Japanese programmer Machead has created an application that actually allows you to touch and fondle them!

Or, maybe, just the outline of a boob, that is.

OK, so maybe it’s just a line.

But still: it’s a boob! And even if a bouncy little blob that responds to fingertip touch but lacks any definable features of a real breast gets less interesting the more you play with it, it’s wonderful to know that boob physics are alive and well—as are the stunning lengths that Apple fanboys will go to in order to grope a hot rack. No matter how digital it may be. And, since, in theory, it’s an application, that means that it’s free. Will the Swiss government put the kibosh on one of the hottest selling phones in the world (and by world, I mean the United States)?