Sometimes when you’re drunk, you get hungry. This is what’s called the beer munchies, and it must always be obeyed. A man at a hotel in St. Paul, Minnesota did just that, but it cost him.
The man, who witnesses say was drunk, was stumbling around the lobby of his hotel, which for some reason lets tame ducks wander (We assume this is to lull our enemy into a false sense of security). He grabbed one of the ducks and ripped its head off.
Key quote: “‘I’m hungry. I’m gonna eat it.'”
For some reason, they charged him with animal cruelty. That shouldn’t even be a charge. We’re at war here, people.