Save a bear, do not pass go

Kid tested, Stephen Colbert approved.You know that phrase “No good deed goes unpunished?”

This is not that story.

You know that song “Save a horse, ride a cowboy?”

This is not that story.

What this story is about is the heartwarming tale of a lawbreaker and his quest to break local wildlife laws. What this story is about is the tale of a man who has put his daughter’s life in jeopardy by exposing her to a wild animal. What this story is about is the legend of a traitor to the human race. Rather than go ahead and finish the job that nature had intended (endangering the bear), he instead chose to feed it. Lot of good that did him, too.

We’re in a war, people. There’s no room for error.