She ain’t heavy, she’s a mother

It was speculated that the Guinness Book of World Records deliberately got rid of “fattest person” and “fattest pet” type records in order to avoid discouraging deliberately dangerous behavior.

Of course, the world tends to not include New Jersey in it (would you?). As such, Donna Simpson is on the road to fame!

And diabetes. And a heart attack. And infamy. And breathing problems. And a higher health insurance premium. And death.

Simpson, a resident of New Jersey, has decided to become the world’s fattest woman. She’s given no reason for wanting to be the bearer of that title, but, well … we’re just going to assume that it’s a New Jersey thing. Of course, she might be able to deduct her weekly grocery bill, $815, and this quest as a business expense, since she runs a Web site where viewers can watch her eat fast food.

I do believe that this might be the most f#$%ed up story on SeriouslyGuys yet.