‘So long, and thanks for all the fish hooks’

Everyone loves the king of the sea, and Beggar was the sea’s Henry VIII. But now the king is dead. (Long live the king!)

Beggar, a dolphin famous for begging for food from boaters in Florida, has died of cheeseburger-related illness. That’s according to biologists who found fish hooks, squid beaks (which are not part of a dolphin’s daily balanced breakfast) and ulcers in his partially-decomposed belly. Beggar was also dehydrated, which, for living underwater is nearly impossible unless fed a highly salty, bacon-wrapped diet.

So, well done, animal warriors. Your efforts have demonstrated that the second quickest way to stopping a dolphin’s heart is through his stomach.

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