Someone call Mister Burns!

For eons, the Sun has provided free energy, light, and warmth to Earth, and all for free. What a capitalistic waste. But now, no longer!

Angeles Duran, a woman from the Spanish region of Galicia, is the new proud owner of the Sun. She says she got the idea in September when she read about an American man registering his ownership of the Moon and most of the planets in the Solar System. She says that she has every right do this within international law, which only forbids countries from claiming planets or stars, not individuals:

“There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first.”

She says she will begin charging people for the use of the Sun. The price she paid? Approximately a measly 5 gazillion moonbucks.