Steven, take the wheel

Responsible drinkers know that, when you’ve had a few too many, you should always hand your keys to a sober(er) driver. And this would have been all well and good for Mississippi dad/love child of Green Day and Good Charlotte, Billy Joe Madden, if his eight-year-old son could just keep his s%@t together.

Police found the boy in the driver seat of Madden’s pickup truck after pulling him over for erratic driving. His dad was sleeping it off next to him. Apparently, despite his pinky swears, those two beers did affect the kid after all.

As a bonus, Reuters wins the coveted Headline of the Day for most confused use of a question mark in the face of police evidence.