If only there were Baby Tylenol …

Salieri betrayed Shiva.

For years, we’ve wondered why–WHY!?–God took Mozart away from us so early. Imagine if he had lived longer: the works he could have still written, the crossover into other genres, the inevitable greatest hits album and maybe even a concert with the greatest band of all time, The Monkees.

Alas! No, he died–he died!–like all the brilliant ones do, at home with a “miliary fever.” (This must be Austrian for “couldn’t breathe his vomit.”)

But, is this the whole story? According to a Dutch study, he may have contracted the strep throat that was going around in Vienna in the winter of 1791. No big deal, right?

Wrong. In an unlikely twist, as the strep gripped his throat, it caused a complication in–of all places–his liver. QED, b@$%hes. That’s one dead Wolfgang.

So it was murder!