Tag: 2008 election

Politics: The only professional field for 12-year-olds

Lookit Sarah, all trying to upstage Cindy with that bigger flag pin.You may have noticed that this post is filed under Scury ’08. That’s because this story reaches back that far.

You see, Todd S. Purdum wrote a piece on Sarah Palin’s vice presidential candidacy in the August 2009 Vanity Fair. He focused on insider sources about Palin’s political history, including anonymous sources from within the McCain campaign team, about what vapid, attention-whoring rednecks Palin, her family and close associates are.

Well, then Politico told us that Bill Kristol, editor of The Weekly Standard (of which it generally falls short) said he knew which aide it was that gave those quotes: Steve Schmidt.

No, not Steve Schmidt from North High who totally cheated on Becky Corngrave with that slut, Becky Rivers–or what we call “The Beckies Incident.” Steve Schmidt, McCain’s campaign manager.

Anyway, Schmidt was all like, “Who said that, Billy Kristol? Didn’t he tardhang with Dan Quayle? McCain’s my bro; I’d never say that. It was Randy Scheunemann.”

That’s right, the same Randy Scheunemann that left summer camp early, saying he had strep, when really it was because he was too stupid to pack any underwear and you could totally see his balls in his shorts. Anyway, he was McCain’s foreign policy adviser and Kristol’s renowned BFF.

Well, when Kristol heard Schmidt made fun of Scheunemann, he called Schmidt out on it, saying he’s a dick and pretended to be friends with Palin at first because she was cool when she was new, and then backstabbed her.

So, Schmidt said he and this hacker friend of his were looking through all the campaign email systems and found a link from “a very senior member to Bill Kristol.”

Scheuenemann confirmed his email had been hacked and called Schmidt “a f%#king Nazi.”

And then, “Schmidt suggested that Scheunemann had fingered Nicole Wallace.” Ew. I know, right?! He’s such a tool!

Oh, but Wallace swears up and down that she didn’t call Palin a diva. Her steady husband, Mark, says the same thing, but Scheunemann says Mark should know “something about divas because he’s [totally] married to a diva.”

So, as you can see, politics is a very serious business, without which our entire nation would fall apart.

Take it from Snee: What this election really means

It is the dawn of a new day, a Wednesday, here in America, now that we have managed to elect a President for the 44th time in our history.

There were some among you who doubted it would happen — that the votes would be inconclusive because everyone voted for themselves. I am happy to say that this was not the case, and the nation will continue to have an executive branch for the next four years … despite everything that branch has done the past eight.

Of course, there are also some people who are trying to assign more meaning to this auspicious occasion than I’ve already mentioned above. They mean well, but — like most people who mean well — they are wrong. Continue reading Take it from Snee: What this election really means

The McBournie Minute: Tomorrow is not the end of annoyance

Here we are at the end of the campaign trail of the 2008 election, or as it is known in the Washington area, the kickoff for 2012. We all know where the candidates stand on the issues, heck, Al Gore emailed my work address this morning to tell me about how important elections are, which is probably caused by global warming. In just over 24 hours, it will all finally be over. No more calls, no more people knocking on your door, no more activists pathetically trying to get you to listen to them as you walk by listening to your iPod.

This is the end of the good times.

In my opinion, this election could not have come at a worse time. We as a nation were finally united and then this thing comes along and splits us all up again. For the past two or three years, we have reached across our own aisles to work together toward a common goal: hating George W. Bush. It took the hard work of a bumbling administration, war, natural disaster, the English language and the hard work of people like Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon, but we got there. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Tomorrow is not the end of annoyance